Admin - May 4th, 2011
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It seems most of us have found ourselves on an afternoon watching way more of a cheesy Lifetime movie than we should have. We are drawn in as a child wrestles with his parent’s adoption decision and wonders who his "real parents" are, what are they like. Our heart strings are tugged as the adoptive family shares angry words and tears when the child decides to find his birthparents. While it's true that some of these movies could do with some better acting and a few less overly sentimental one-liners, these feelings and family struggles are real and should not be downplayed. Forming an adoption plan is hard!
The good news is that it doesn’t have to look like a bad movie. Today it’s common for adoption agencies to work with adoptive parents and birth mothers to plan what’s called an “open adoption.” This plan means the birth mother can choose to be a part of her child’s life, have a relationship with him or her, share memories and watch them grow. The birth mother has a lot of control--she can pick out the family she sees as best for her child after interviewing them and building a relationship with them. From there, decisions are made together. Does she want to visit regularly? Be a part of her child’s birthday parties, soccer games, piano recitals, and graduations? The child can grow knowing that they are loved by their birth mother and that she made a difficult but loving choice in the hopes of a better life for her child.
Adoption can be a selfless and loving choice that enriches two families with a precious gift and a lot of love. Before you write off adoption due to a negative impression from something on television or even in real life know that you can form an adoption plan and have your child know you love them.
Guest blog by Esther B.
Cara B. - April 27th, 2011
One of the first tell-tell signs of pregnancy is what is commonly called “morning sickness.”
eMedicineHealth.com says “up to 70% of all women get mild to moderate symptoms during the first three months (first trimester) of pregnancy. These symptoms are usually gone by the fourth month.” However, some women's symptoms may last throughout the entire pregnancy.
Morning sickness is a common experience among pregnant women, but what EXACTLY is it?
New York Times Health states, “The exact cause of morning sickness is unknown. It may be caused by hormone changes or lower blood sugar during early pregnancy. Emotional stress, fatigue, traveling, or some foods can make the problem worse. Nausea in pregnancy is more common and can be worse with twins or triplets.”
Even the experts can’t pin down morning sickness quite yet! However, there are several tips and tricks on how best to manage your nausea. Check out some of these tips at WebMd. Also, speak to your medical professional about any symptoms you may be experiencing.
Interesting to note is that morning sickness does not occur in other mammals—only humans. So, when you’re feeling quite queasy, just remember, it’s a uniquely human experience!
Admin - March 25th, 2011
Do you struggle with knowing whom to trust and whom not to? Trust is a big part of any relationship, especially one with your significant other. If you don’t trust that person, it’s going to wind up hurting both of you. Also when someone doesn’t trust you, it can feel like a betrayal or like they don’t believe in you or understand you.
Usually trust is based on what we see a person do: their actions. If someone says they will call and they do, we start to trust what they say. On the other hand, if someone says they want to hang out with you and they don’t show up, you call them a “flake” and start to doubt what they say.
Being called “trustworthy” is pretty desirable. We want people to trust that we will be there for them. Good relationships are marked by mutual trust. It’s pretty cute when a boy stands up for you because he believes in you. Guys love to be trusted, too. They love when you call them to ask a question or when you just want to be reassured about something. That shows trust.
The crazy thing about trust is that sometimes it can be misplaced. That can be pretty harmful. One thing that causes misplaced trust is, believe it or not, sexual involvement. Sex causes the release of a chemical called “oxytocin”. According to a recent issue of the “Monitor on Psychology”, oxytocin promotes trust. A study was done that asked the participants to split money with a stranger. Those who inhaled oxytocin offered the stranger eighty percent more money than those who did not.
What does that mean? That means that before the commitment of a relationship built on the ultimate trust of marriage vows, sex can cause us to trust our partners more than they really should be trusted. We might disregard the fact that they never call when they say they will just because we are sexually blinded. We may not see our relationship for what it really is.
One idea is to take a step back and evaluate how trustworthy our partners are. Try designating a certain length of time, maybe until you graduate or a few months time from now. Take this time to remove the blinder that sex can be. Abstain. Look at your relationship for what it really is. Does he do what he says he will? Does she tell you the truth? Try journaling or talking to someone else you trust about what you notice. Instead of sex, try planning creative date ideas or thinking of creative gifts to give your partner. This will lead you toward an honest perspective of your relationship that you can trust.
Guest blog by Em H.
Admin - November 10th, 2010
Living together before marriage makes sense, right? Why is it that people still have concerns about what appears to be such a reasonable concept? It makes sense to do a trial run before you commit for life, doesn’t it? Let’s find out.
In terms of statistics, there are some legitimate reasons to be cautious. Reports shown on CNN, Fox News, and MSNBC all show statistics that come to the same conclusion: Living together outside of marriage can actually hurt your relationship in the long run. The reason for this continues to baffle researchers because it is counter-intuitive.
Should these statistics have any bearing on your decision whether or not to move in with your significant other? Well, that’s for you to decide, but the facts are worth looking at. Here they are:
• According to research conducted by the University of Chicago, sixteen percent of women in cohabitating relationships reported physical abuse, as compared to just four percent of married women.
• Twenty percent of women living with their boyfriends reported cheating on their significant others, while only four percent of married woman said they had cheated.
• Women in the study said that they thought moving in together was a step toward marriage. Men said they did not see it as a precursor to marriage, but simply as a compatibility test run.
• In a particularly surprising statistic, CNN reported that 80 percent of couples that live together later divorce after they are married to their partner. That is nearly double the national divorce rate among married couples in general.
There are plenty of statistics out there on the issue of cohabitating. Before you make a life-changing decision, do some research and talk things over with your significant other and your friends and family. It always pays to make an informed choice, even if it is a counter-intuitive one.
Guest blog by Sarah R.
Admin - September 29th, 2010
A parental consent law (or parental notification law) is an issue surrounded by media attention. So without all the hype and biased opinions you hear on the news, here’s an honest answer to questions you should ask yourself about these laws before having an abortion.
So what is a parental consent law? A parental consent law typically means that you will need to get permission from a parent or guardian if you are under 18 before undergoing the abortion procedure.
Does my state have it? Individual states decide whether or not to demand parental permission for an abortion. At this time, Illinois does not require a parental signature before an abortion. If you’re from another state, click here for a break down of each state’s requirements.
Should I tell my parents anyway? This is a good question to ask yourself even if your state does not, by law, require you to. Abortion is one of the few medical procedures that does not always require the consent of a parent or guardian. Keeping in mind that abortion is a medical procedure, there are health risks involved. The following facts are taken directly from the Web MD article “Abortion- Before, During, and After an Abortion: When to Call a Doctor.”
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Severe bleeding. Both medical and surgical abortions usually cause bleeding that is different from a normal menstrual period. Severe bleeding can mean: passing clots that are bigger than a golf ball, lasting 2 or more hours; soaking more than 2 large pads in an hour, for 2 hours in a row; or bleeding heavily for 12 hours in a row.
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Signs of infection in your whole body, such as headache, muscle aches, dizziness, or a general feeling of illness. Severe infection is possible without fever.
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Severe pain in the abdomen that is not relieved by pain medicine, rest, or heat
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Hot flushes or a fever of 100.4F or higher that lasts longer than 4 hours
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Vomiting lasting more than 4 to 6 hours
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Sudden abdominal swelling or rapid heart rate
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Vaginal discharge that has increased in amount or smells bad
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Pain, swelling, or redness in the genital area
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Bleeding (not spotting) for longer than 2 weeks
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New, unexplained symptoms that may be caused by medicines used in your treatment
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No menstrual period within 6 weeks after the procedure
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Signs and symptoms of depression. Hormonal changes after a pregnancy can cause depression that requires treatment.
By law, a parental consent form is required for any surgery that takes place in a hospital. This means that if your guardian does not know about the procedure, they will not be present to sign off on a potentially life-saving surgery. In addition, let’s face it, this is a life-changing decision. It’s always good to talk something so impactful over with people who care about you whether that’s a guardian, a trusted teacher or relative.
Before you go in for an abortion, inform yourself; know your state’s laws, know the health risks of an abortion, know who to talk to about the decision and who to call if something goes wrong. Though whether or not to tell your parents is a difficult decision, your health and safety is always the most important thing to consider.
Guest post by Sarah R.
