Cara B. - April 14th, 2010
About a year ago I watched an episode of “16 and Pregnant.” Soon after discovering she was pregnant, a young mother decided that she would inform her own mom of the news. She couldn’t work up the nerve to have a “family discussion,” so she decided to just text her mom while she was in class. This turned out to be not such a great idea. #1--her mom thought it was a joke. #2--the mom didn’t appreciate such serious news being shared via text.
This is just one of the many mishaps that can occur when trying to convey the news of pregnancy to an unsuspecting parent or guardian. It’s very difficult to navigate this conversation. Let’s keep from making the same mistakes. Here are a few examples of what NOT to do:
1. I think it’s safe to say, texting is not a great option. Although it’s a very valid form of communication today, people in previous generations value face to face conversation—especially for a topic so serious. Sending a text can be viewed as “the easy way out.”
2. Along with texting, any other form of impersonal communication is discouraged. Don’t email. Don’t send a certified letter. And definitely don’t have someone else break the news for you! The best method will come from YOU personally.
3. Don’t mention the news in passing. (For example, when you are running out of the door to catch the bus or packing up to leave for vacation.) This doesn’t allow for any family processing to occur and can make the situation more difficult.
4. Don’t blame your parents. It can be easy to point a finger, especially given a difficult circumstance such as an unplanned pregnancy. However, be careful of assigning blame. Take responsibility for what is yours and share honestly about your situation. Use “I feel” statements, expressing your emotions regarding your pregnancy.
5. Don’t yell, scream, or start throwing punches. That usually doesn’t go over very well. A calm, honest, face-to-face conversation is going to allow for both parties to be heard. Express your thoughts, then allow your parents to share theirs. It may not always turn out as you hoped, but these steps will help create a healthier environment for the news to be shared.
Informing your family members of an unplanned pregnancy may be difficult and awkward no matter what steps you take. However, there are things you can put into place to help make it as successful as it possibly can be. So, when thinking about the best way to break the news to YOUR parents, make a plan that best suits your individual family…and always remember what NOT to do!
Brenda Goodnough, RN - April 7th, 2010
The result of a pregnancy test is only good if it is accurate. There are right and wrong ways to perform a test. If you are testing at home it is important to closely follow the directions that come with that test.
Here are a few key points that are universal with all home pregnancy tests on the market today.
When performing a urine test it is best to:
1. use concentrated urine (Perform test first thing in the morning)
2. check the test’s expiration date
3. wait until you have missed a period
4. purchase the most sensitive test you can afford
Even when you have performed the test exactly as directed, here are a few additional considerations.
There is the possibility of a false negative reading with a urine pregnancy test if:
o the test is done too early in the pregnancy
o the urine specimen is too diluted
The likelihood of having a false negative test is greater than having a false positive test but, a false positive can result if:
o certain fertility drugs have been used
o a woman suffers from liver disease or specific cancers
o the test has passed the expiration date
Often home pregnancy tests come in packaged with two tests. If you are unsure of your initial results you can use the second test to confirm. However, it may be best to wait a few days between tests for greater accuracy.
CareNet provides fast, and reliable, pregnancy tests in a safe and confidential environment. If you think you may be pregnant, call for an appointment for a free pregnancy test at one of our three centers.
Lisa P. - March 31st, 2010
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Job Change
Making a pregnancy decision with a partner can be similar to making a career decision. When the partners are in a committed relationship, the woman knows that her choice will affect his life through its effect on her. However, no one questions that she has the final verdict, since it is her career that will be impacted. Any kind of force applied by the partner would be immediately recognized as inappropriate.
Vacation Planning
Making the pregnancy decision could also feel like planning a trip together. The partners know they’ll both participate in the activities and destination that they choose, so they have to listen to each other, find ways to compromise, and come to an agreement together. Also in this case, the woman calls the final shots (she has the keys to the rental car). Viewed this way, it’s clear that it’s also inappropriate for her to ignore her partner’s input. He will have a miserable vacation and their relationship will probably suffer.
Both pictures reveal an important aspect of the decision making process. Which picture is closest to what’s going on in your relationship? What can you do to help your decision process be as healthy as possible?
Brenda Goodnough, RN - March 24th, 2010
Over 50% of pregnant women will experience morning sickness to some degree or another. As the name implies, most women will notice this after arising in the morning, but it can occur any time of day or even last all day.
The exact cause of morning sickness is not known but most believe it is a result of rapidly rising hormone levels associated with pregnancy. Low blood sugar, which is also common at this time, is thought to be another contributor to this frequent issue of pregnancy.
Most women start to experience the symptoms at around their 6th week of pregnancy and notice that it starts to subside around the 12th week. However, a small percentage of women will find themselves dealing with nausea throughout their pregnancy. Actual vomiting is not always associated with morning sickness and the symptoms can range from very mild to severe.
The absence of morning sickness does not mean that there is anything wrong with the pregnancy but the presence is usually a pretty good indictor that the pregnancy is progressing.
Helpful Do's and Don'ts:
• Eat small meals often
• Drink fluids before or after a meal, but not with meals
• Drink small amounts of fluids during the day to avoid dehydration
• Eat soda crackers 15 minutes before getting up in the morning
• Avoid foods and smells that increase nausea
• Cook in well ventilated spaces to avoid odors that may bother you
• Get plenty of rest
• Avoid warm places (feeling hot adds to nausea)
• Some salty foods and foods high in carbs may help settle the stomach
• Exercise
• Avoid lying down after eating
• Do not skip meals
• Avoid spicy, greasy, and fatty foods
Morning sickness can only become a problem for your baby if you can't keep any foods or fluids down and begin to lose a lot of weight.
Mild cases are often treated with dietary measures, rest and antacids. Severe cases often require a stay in the hospital where fluid and nutrition can be delivered through an intravenous line.
If you are concerned about the severity of nausea and vomiting you are experiencing it is important to seek medical attention for evaluation and treatment.
Lisa P. - March 17th, 2010
For something that’s generally described as “a woman’s choice,” the man involved has a lot of influence.
As discussed in Whose Choice Is It? the decision is technically totally hers, but a woman’s decision will be shaped by her partner’s opinion and the circumstances of their relationship.
For instance, if the partners are not in a committed relationship, or if the relationship is new, the woman is likely to feel some pressure to abort, no matter what her partner actually says about it.
If the man has a strong opinion about what the woman should do, they can try to work things out by discussing the reasons and possible consequences of each decision. In extreme cases, guys may turn to manipulation or threats to get women to make a certain choice. This is damaging to the relationship and can be dangerous for women.
Sometimes guys feel pressure to hide their own feelings. He may think expressing his opinion will violate her right to choose. However, in this situation, honesty and open communication between partners is a necessity. If a man says “I’ll support whatever you decide,” a woman may hear “He’s not excited about the pregnancy, so he doesn’t want me to keep it.” Men, if you have an opinion, please express it so your partner can make her decision with the most accurate information available.
Related Blog entries:
We Can Work It Out: When Partners Disagree
Whose Choice Is It? Coercion in Pregnancy Decisions
