Brenda Goodnough, RN - April 21st, 2010
Since the year 2000 there has been an alternative to surgical abortion in the United States. Named for the French pharmaceutical company that created it, RU-486 it is often referred as the “abortion pill”. It has been used by over one million women in the United States since its approval here.
An RU-486 abortion is a procedure that involves two different drugs. The first drug ends the pregnancy by cutting off the blood supply to the developing fetus. The second drug, given 48 hours after the first, is used to expel it. A pregnancy is usually ended in most women within 48 hours, though in some instances it can take as long as two weeks.
There are several key factors to consider before considering this as an abortion option.
• This process needs close observation and frequently requires as many as three visits to your medical provider.
• RU-486 is only effective in early pregnancy, preferably at 7 weeks or before.
• The minimum failure rate is 8%, and a failed abortion requires a surgical procedure.
• The cost of using the “abortion pill” can be as much as twice the cost of a surgical abortion.
• Women with certain common medical conditions will not be eligible.
• Side effects of both medications can be severe and unpleasant.
• The major medical risks involved in this abortion method are excessive bleeding and infection.
• RU-486 is known to cause significant birth defects so your medical provider will not support your desire to change your mind once the first pill has been taken.
• There is active participation on the part of the woman in terminating her pregnancy.
Though it may initially appear that this form of abortion is quick and easy, it can actually be a more lengthy, costly, and difficult process.
Because the “abortion pill” must be used early in the pregnancy, there is no way to know whether a pregnancy is likely to continue. Since 1 in 6 pregnancies will naturally end in a miscarriage you may be committing yourself to an unnecessary procedure to end a pregnancy that may end on its own.
About 20% of women who use RU-486 to end their pregnancy will continue to have some degree of bleeding for 5-6 weeks after. Occasionally, surgical intervention is needed to stop or control excessive or prolonged bleeding.
Before committing to an RU-486 abortion, get all of the facts and weigh the costs of what may be bitter pills to swallow.
Lisa P. - March 31st, 2010
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Job Change
Making a pregnancy decision with a partner can be similar to making a career decision. When the partners are in a committed relationship, the woman knows that her choice will affect his life through its effect on her. However, no one questions that she has the final verdict, since it is her career that will be impacted. Any kind of force applied by the partner would be immediately recognized as inappropriate.
Vacation Planning
Making the pregnancy decision could also feel like planning a trip together. The partners know they’ll both participate in the activities and destination that they choose, so they have to listen to each other, find ways to compromise, and come to an agreement together. Also in this case, the woman calls the final shots (she has the keys to the rental car). Viewed this way, it’s clear that it’s also inappropriate for her to ignore her partner’s input. He will have a miserable vacation and their relationship will probably suffer.
Both pictures reveal an important aspect of the decision making process. Which picture is closest to what’s going on in your relationship? What can you do to help your decision process be as healthy as possible?
Lisa P. - March 17th, 2010
For something that’s generally described as “a woman’s choice,” the man involved has a lot of influence.
As discussed in Whose Choice Is It? the decision is technically totally hers, but a woman’s decision will be shaped by her partner’s opinion and the circumstances of their relationship.
For instance, if the partners are not in a committed relationship, or if the relationship is new, the woman is likely to feel some pressure to abort, no matter what her partner actually says about it.
If the man has a strong opinion about what the woman should do, they can try to work things out by discussing the reasons and possible consequences of each decision. In extreme cases, guys may turn to manipulation or threats to get women to make a certain choice. This is damaging to the relationship and can be dangerous for women.
Sometimes guys feel pressure to hide their own feelings. He may think expressing his opinion will violate her right to choose. However, in this situation, honesty and open communication between partners is a necessity. If a man says “I’ll support whatever you decide,” a woman may hear “He’s not excited about the pregnancy, so he doesn’t want me to keep it.” Men, if you have an opinion, please express it so your partner can make her decision with the most accurate information available.
Related Blog entries:
We Can Work It Out: When Partners Disagree
Whose Choice Is It? Coercion in Pregnancy Decisions
Lisa P. - March 3rd, 2010
Pressure from parents is not just a teen problem. Families are in each other’s business—that’s the way it is. So, when I ask people what their parents are going to think about the pregnancy, the rarest answer is “they won’t care; they let me do my own thing.” Parents always have opinions, even if their kids are out of school, living on their own, or married, etc.
Obviously, some women are more sensitive to pressure from parents, depending on her circumstances. Age, education, living arrangements, culture, and religion all play a role. Family pressure can be a direct threat (“If you don’t abort, you’ll be out on the street”), or more like a suggestion (“You’ll never get over placing your child for adoption”).
Even the idea that “they can never find out” is the result of subtle force. These parents conveyed (with or without words) that getting pregnant would be the Worst Thing Ever, so their kids abort in secret. We encourage people to talk with their parents (or a trusted adult) about their decision. A choice this important should be informed by the parents’ actual reaction, not their predicted reaction.
Because abortion is a woman’s choice, no parent can decide the outcome of their daughter’s pregnancy. If your parents are trying to make your decision for you, they may be trying to protect you—but they need to respect your rights. Involve a relative, teacher, counselor, or friend if you need help protecting your right to choose.
*CareNet can help your family find a healthy path through this crisis. Please contact us.
*Check out Telling your Parents for ideas to get the conversation off on the right foot. Or read 5 Things Not to Do When Telling Your Parents for a differnt perspective.
*Read more about coercion HERE.
Lisa P. - February 17th, 2010
In a recent episode of Private Practice, a 15-year-old girl is pregnant and tells her parents. Her mom declares that the girl must abort, and when her dad is asked his opinion, he says, “I’m just a guy, I don’t have a choice.” The episode revealed the confusion families face about who should make such an important choice.
All that stuff about “a woman’s choice” is absolutely true—technically. The woman’s “right to choose” means that no one (laws, parents, boyfriend) should be able to force a woman NOT TO abort. The reverse should also be true: no one (laws, parents, boyfriend) should be able to force a woman TO abort. Anyone trying to legally force or prevent an abortion would find themselves on shaky ground.
Families and romantic partners sometimes try to force women to abort without using laws or courts at all. This kind of coercion includes dire negative predictions, threats, and sometimes even violence. Coercion tends to be dramatic and emotionally manipulative. The coercers, like the mother in the TV show, are driven by their own strong emotions to do anything to get the pregnant woman to do what they want, instead of what she wants.
Identifying coercion is important because women who feel forced into an abortion may have more trouble dealing with their decision emotionally. Some reactions include anger and resentment at the person who encouraged the choice. Important relationships can be damaged at a time when women most need strong emotional support.
If you’re facing a pregnancy decision, take some time to think about the reasons you’re considering each option. Do your reasons come from inside yourself or from others? Don’t ignore what other have to say. But it’s important to remember that you are the one who will be living with the result of your choice. You need to be the chooser.
* Men may also perceive an abortion as “forced on them,” whether by their partner, parents, or other forces. If you and your partner disagree about what you should do, try reading We Can Work It Out.
* Some coercion is abusive, or covers up abuse. If you are being abused, please tell someone and get help.
